Helping A Friend

Steps A Sound Mind Suggests

As members of the Auburn Family, we all pledge to do our best looking out for each other.If you are looking to help a friend with a mental health concern and seek help, A Sound Mind suggests going through the following steps:

Look for warning signs that signal someone is in distress.
Listen, ask open-ended questions, and find out what is really going on with your friend.
Offer hope, encouragement, and support in a non-judgmental way.
Connect your friend to professional resources.
Even once your friend is getting help, check-in with them to see how things are going and support your friends as they work to maintain good mental health.

Step by Step Instructions

1. Warning Signs

Below are some common warning signs a friend may be in distress:

Noticeable loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy
Significant, usually quick weight loss or gain
Resistance to hanging out with friends; isolating
Noticeable change in sleeping patterns—either not sleeping at all or for most of the day
Absence from classes, other required events
Risky, violent behavior
Verbalizations of concern (e.g., “The world is better off without me;” “Things are tough…I ought to just end it,” etc

2. How to Listen/Find Out What is Going On

Starts with BEING QUIET
Resist the urge to ask closed questions
Resist the urge to fill silence with speech
Resist the urge to give advice
Resist the urge to fix the “problem” without knowing what it actually is
Make sure non-verbals convey openness
Paraphrase what the person is saying to let them know you hear them
Be honest and direct

3. Offering Support and Hope

Use “I” and “we” statements
Pick a safe space to talk and keep it one-on-one
Give it time. Be there for as long as the person needs
Remain calm and open
Help the person develop specific ways to feel better and hopeful

Connect to Professionals

If you suspect that the person is feeling overwhelmed to the point that they may be thinking about suicide, ask the question, “Are you thinking of killing yourself?” (link to QPR)

If an AU student, Student Counseling & Psychological Services (link)

If not, Psych Services Center (link)

Crisis: SCPS for students (link to crisis page); National Suicide Prevention hotline (1-800-273-TALK; link); Crisis Text Line (741-741; link)

Checking-In

Once referred to a resource, ask them how it is going
Self-disclose as you are comfortable about your own experiences
Offer encouragement, especially if someone has a setback
Keep working to relate to them, about anything and everything
A person’s recovery has ups and downs and is different per person

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Last modified: 05/11/2020

Student Affairs

Helping A Friend

Steps A Sound Mind Suggests

As members of the Auburn Family, we all pledge to do our best looking out for each other.If you are looking to help a friend with a mental health concern and seek help, A Sound Mind suggests going through the following steps:

Look for warning signs that signal someone is in distress.

Listen, ask open-ended questions, and find out what is really going on with your friend.

Offer hope, encouragement, and support in a non-judgmental way.

Connect your friend to professional resources.

Even once your friend is getting help, check-in with them to see how things are going and support your friends as they work to maintain good mental health.